We stayed on the farm in Esk for 3 days and the boys enjoyed helping 0ut feeding the animals, going on the tractor, the jeep, the motorcross machines - I sunbathed and Ian decided to become a farmer upon return to DK! hmmm, maybe just a few chickens and a pig (He has always secretly wanted to have his own pigfarm).
The days at Esk were bliss for all of us and with our energy levels back on top we ventured back to Brisbane to Helen and Declan and their boys for the rest of the stay. The idea was to do lots of day trips to all the places we had yet to experience in Queensland. I must say some of these were somewhat interrupted by some late night boozy sessions. We all agreed that we were 20 again, this would have been no hindrance to any of us, but as we are now 30 something grownups the flu-like symptoms that followed such nights had us out in turn. However, where better to do this than in a place where the boys can just run around and have lots of fun.
The most memorable night may be the one in which Declan showed Ian around the Brisbane hotspots. Returning home alone without my husband and slightly tipsy (read could not stand, walk, talk) Declan declared that his brother was now looking after Ian in the Valley. I decided that it may be best to wait up for Ian as I wasn't sure he'd even remember the address and sure enough he got the taxi driver to drive to the area they lived in and through some weird drunken survival instinct found his way home - now all that was left for me was to get him to bed - a task not normally an issue I might add- but in this case I took a leaf out of Heino's book having watched him hearding the cows and the goats and finally managed this in 30min, all of this to Helen's giggling fit.
Anyway, the day trips we did included going up Tamborine Mountain where the views were spectacular and we had the most wonderful lunch in a little cafe. We went to Surfers Paradise twice - the long stretch of beach there is amazing. We've toured around Brisbane in the sunshine, took the citycat (water taxi) to the markets and enjoyed a bit of retail therapy.
A bit of bad luck with the weather as we had to be here in the one week in 6 years rains has grazed Australia with it's presence. However, we decided to just enjoy the hospitality of Helen and Declan, which in the end meant we practically believed it was our house and even took over the driveway....just hope we can return the favour one day!!
The boys have found great friends in Flynn and Johrel and the 4 of them have played together all the time. When the two big boys goes to school, Sebastian and Oscar misses them so much and it is hugs and kisses when they return. They've made friends for life and if we can keep it going it would be great to see them as adults travelling to meet eachother around the world!
Oscar inparticular has developed in the last month and we now have two boys who never stops talking.
Anyway, we're going to reunite in a dodgy cable car brothel in Japan, each buy a web-cam so we can share each others weather reports (DK=dark, Brisbane=sunny), and compete on buying the largest 4-wheel drives possible - Ian will lose that one.
We're now heading onto Malaysia and we're sad at leaving Oz and our new friends in Brisbane.
Monday, 27 August 2007
Wednesday, 15 August 2007
It's never too late to learn new skills...regardless how painfull it may be!
Well, Australia is an interesting place. In the last week we've been staying at the Sunshine Coast just north of Brisbane where the sea and river give lots of opportunities for water-sports, weather is warm and life is good for the thousands who flock there for holidays. We then headed about 80 miles south-west to Esk to stay on Heino's farm. Here, there has been little to no rain for 6 months, the land is barren and the farmers are suffering. In most States in Oz, the last 12 months has brought little to no rain and official drought areas have been declared in most of southern and eastern Queensland. Just shows how varied this land can be.
Heino has 50 acres of land, 4 cows and 25 goats. He also has some great toys - 4-wheel drives, motor bikes, guns, that sort of thing. So, we came up to relax, take in some country air, feed the animals and generally get into the urbanites-on-a-farm thing.
First day, official tour of the farm in the clapped-out but still runs 1.3lt Suzuki. Wonderful views over the Esk county hills and a first hand view of how bad the drought is. Saw a wild skippy and got a glimpse of what its like to be able to have a small hobby-farm just 1hr away from Brisbane. Land availability here is huge and prices (of which you can't compare to Europe) work out at GDP 500 an acre - almost a tenth of prices in the UK. Heino has built an "autobahn" around his land which involves some hairy inclines but when you have some beer in the back who cares. But, by the end of day one the previous family illness had hit me and I was laid in bed with flu.
Day 2, and a bit of poncy flu wasn't about to spoil life on the farm. Also, Heino had plans and work to be done. So, he geared himself up in his overalls and I put on my holiday t-shirt, shorts and fake crocs. May well have also "oiled" myself up for a day in the sun. Took too much paracetamol so felt a bit drowsy and off we went. First job, round up the cows and give them some de-wormer. Easy...just shout a bit, wave your arms and show no fear. I once heard that cows (or bulls) smell fear...they may have also smelt the coconut oil which may explain why they went in the opposite direction away from the main gate. Finally got them in, and then a bit of the old magic juice and off they go.
Job two, bit of de-wormer for the goats and a little bit of castration! I was certain I heard that word. With me open-mouthed, Heino explained the process. In his mind, a simple process of testicle strangulation! And there's me figuring on a nice holiday snap of me holding some goats not a full anatomy video showing some goats' nuts being lobbed off. We had the hilarious (and obvious) act of trying to herd 25 goats into a pen, including the 10 or so kid goats who could not only smell coconut oil but also the fear. I also suspect that they had been fore-warned by the elder goats in the herd that when a man approaches with food and leads you into a dark barn that you had better run in the opposite direction (which they did) or pretend to be female. So we get them in the pen and the fun starts.
Normally with flu, I like to stay in a dark room, lemsip in hand, perhaps a DVD and some peace and quiet. Being faced by a screaming baby goat on a hot day, legs held wide open by a hobby-farmer, and having to decide the sex (and therefore the fate) of a goat ain't one of those things that takes my fancy when being ill.
So, goat one - thank the Lord, female. Goat two, again female. Perhaps this was going to be easy. Goat three, male - well, I had to be told, I thought it had two udders. Ok, here we go. Attach a small green rubber band to some clamp-like device, open it up so stretch the band, grab the little-goats two balls (a minor technical point) and then release the clamp and listen to the cry of a lost sex life. Having only experienced testicles from a personal point, I felt a degree of sensitivity was the best policy. After all, if someone was to chop mine off then I would want a nice dainty female nurse to complete the operation and not some huge grappling bloke who'd rather be ill in bed. Poor goat one. I sensed I'd made a mistake when the scream was a slightly pained high pitch squeal. Heino, with a degree of sarcasm only Aussie's have, pointed out I'd only clamped one of his balls and that I should grab hold of them both and make sure the 2 go through the band. I looked around to Marie for moral support. There she is, camera in hand, giggling away. In sickness and in health! Also looked to the boys', who where wide-eyed and open-mouthed. I do now have a a very quick way of ensuring good-behaviour from them for the rest of their lives. So then, the intricate procedure of removing the band of one ball (sigh of relief from the goat) to only then re-apply the bloody thing.
So, an hour later, 5 male goats now turned into eunuchs. 5 sets of balls now due to fall off in one month. Ouch! I suggested they could be sent to me as a memento! To be honest, it was ok. I also reckon that there can't be many tourists on holiday who have spent time on a farm castrating some goats.
I also reckon that I'll celebrate the goats balls falling off next month. I only hope they fall off cleanly. I was thinking that a snow-ball cocktail (how many jokes are in that drink!!) would be a good way to remember my little (and the goats' very little) friends.
Heino has 50 acres of land, 4 cows and 25 goats. He also has some great toys - 4-wheel drives, motor bikes, guns, that sort of thing. So, we came up to relax, take in some country air, feed the animals and generally get into the urbanites-on-a-farm thing.
First day, official tour of the farm in the clapped-out but still runs 1.3lt Suzuki. Wonderful views over the Esk county hills and a first hand view of how bad the drought is. Saw a wild skippy and got a glimpse of what its like to be able to have a small hobby-farm just 1hr away from Brisbane. Land availability here is huge and prices (of which you can't compare to Europe) work out at GDP 500 an acre - almost a tenth of prices in the UK. Heino has built an "autobahn" around his land which involves some hairy inclines but when you have some beer in the back who cares. But, by the end of day one the previous family illness had hit me and I was laid in bed with flu.
Day 2, and a bit of poncy flu wasn't about to spoil life on the farm. Also, Heino had plans and work to be done. So, he geared himself up in his overalls and I put on my holiday t-shirt, shorts and fake crocs. May well have also "oiled" myself up for a day in the sun. Took too much paracetamol so felt a bit drowsy and off we went. First job, round up the cows and give them some de-wormer. Easy...just shout a bit, wave your arms and show no fear. I once heard that cows (or bulls) smell fear...they may have also smelt the coconut oil which may explain why they went in the opposite direction away from the main gate. Finally got them in, and then a bit of the old magic juice and off they go.
Job two, bit of de-wormer for the goats and a little bit of castration! I was certain I heard that word. With me open-mouthed, Heino explained the process. In his mind, a simple process of testicle strangulation! And there's me figuring on a nice holiday snap of me holding some goats not a full anatomy video showing some goats' nuts being lobbed off. We had the hilarious (and obvious) act of trying to herd 25 goats into a pen, including the 10 or so kid goats who could not only smell coconut oil but also the fear. I also suspect that they had been fore-warned by the elder goats in the herd that when a man approaches with food and leads you into a dark barn that you had better run in the opposite direction (which they did) or pretend to be female. So we get them in the pen and the fun starts.
Normally with flu, I like to stay in a dark room, lemsip in hand, perhaps a DVD and some peace and quiet. Being faced by a screaming baby goat on a hot day, legs held wide open by a hobby-farmer, and having to decide the sex (and therefore the fate) of a goat ain't one of those things that takes my fancy when being ill.
So, goat one - thank the Lord, female. Goat two, again female. Perhaps this was going to be easy. Goat three, male - well, I had to be told, I thought it had two udders. Ok, here we go. Attach a small green rubber band to some clamp-like device, open it up so stretch the band, grab the little-goats two balls (a minor technical point) and then release the clamp and listen to the cry of a lost sex life. Having only experienced testicles from a personal point, I felt a degree of sensitivity was the best policy. After all, if someone was to chop mine off then I would want a nice dainty female nurse to complete the operation and not some huge grappling bloke who'd rather be ill in bed. Poor goat one. I sensed I'd made a mistake when the scream was a slightly pained high pitch squeal. Heino, with a degree of sarcasm only Aussie's have, pointed out I'd only clamped one of his balls and that I should grab hold of them both and make sure the 2 go through the band. I looked around to Marie for moral support. There she is, camera in hand, giggling away. In sickness and in health! Also looked to the boys', who where wide-eyed and open-mouthed. I do now have a a very quick way of ensuring good-behaviour from them for the rest of their lives. So then, the intricate procedure of removing the band of one ball (sigh of relief from the goat) to only then re-apply the bloody thing.
So, an hour later, 5 male goats now turned into eunuchs. 5 sets of balls now due to fall off in one month. Ouch! I suggested they could be sent to me as a memento! To be honest, it was ok. I also reckon that there can't be many tourists on holiday who have spent time on a farm castrating some goats.
I also reckon that I'll celebrate the goats balls falling off next month. I only hope they fall off cleanly. I was thinking that a snow-ball cocktail (how many jokes are in that drink!!) would be a good way to remember my little (and the goats' very little) friends.
Saturday, 11 August 2007
Anthony H Wilson
Main man at Factory Records and a well known figure to some us in the north-west. Gave us Joy Division, New Order, Happy Mondays, Certain Ratio amongst others. RRP
Australia Fayre...crickey!
Well, finally managed to find an Internet cafe. To be honest, its' been made difficult by warm weather and illness. We arrived in Brisbane over a week ago and after 2 days headed up to the Sunshine Coast where upon arrival Seba took ill with a virus which then spread to Marie and Oscar. Yours truly soldiered on!
Have been guests of family in Brisbane and hospitality in the first 48hrs ran to cases of wine and beer and great food. Marry that with the warm weather (its the middle of winter here) and the place is paradise.
Australia seems the most obvious choice for relocation. Weather, self-sufficient in most foods, outdoor culture...but the one problem for Marie is the proximity of snakes...or the realisation that they are within 500miles of her. Still, can but dream.
We've been staying in Maroochydore on the Sunshine Coast in a wonderful apartment on the tributary into the sea. Due to the illness, we've been cabin bound but managed two small trips out - Australia Zoo and some whale/dolphin watching.
Firstly, Australia Zoo or otherwise known as the Steve Irwin Tribute Park - crickey! The zoo was home to the self-titled Crocodile Hunter (he's the crazy Aussie guy who used to be on ITV Sat afternoon chasing crocodiles and snakes around the world. Now its' a shrine to his life, work, etc,etc. Due to it being middle of winter the animals were, umm, sleeping. We're pretty much experts in animal nocturnal habits. Crocs (asleep in water), koala's (asleep in trees), pythons (curled up and asleep), kangaroos (lying down). Quick mention in dispatches to the elephants who at least stood up, had a drink, and then lay down again. When walking / pushing / carrying a 4yr and 2yr old around a zoo you pretty much need to see some animal activity (preferably killing / chasing / roaring) for them to be interested. In our postmodern world, once you've seen one animal asleep you've pretty much seen them all.
Still, Marie and the boys' had their photo taken with a syphilis carrying koala!
Next up, and very much high on the "world tour tick list" was whale watching. What should have been an obvious omen to the day ahead, we booked with "Australian Zoo Whale One" or more widely known amongst his employees, "Steve Irwin Whale Boat". Off we set, 10am in the morning, camera's all charged up, plenty of spare discs (for we are a modern gadget holidaying family) into the great blue yonder to watch the majestic whales sing and swim for our delight. As we hit mid-day, and the Steve Irwin tribute DVD played for the 2nd time I started to wonder whether the cure of Australia Zoo had followed us onto the boat. We were informed that whales only spend 10% of their time on the surface but the area we were in was a "popular spot" for them - they swim over for a beer, have a BBQ, take their kids to the park...
Several false spots later, and eagle-eye Hughes spots a jet of water some distance away and then a brown hump. The boat speeds in that direction. Then we're told they can stay under water for up to 15mins. What confused us was why we were all looking at the front of the boat - do whales just sink up and down in one spot? Answer, no. Round the back of the boat a cry went up...so the boat turned around and then we all looked in that direction. This is pretty much what whale watching is all about. It's like looking for fairies at the bottom of the garden. After an hour I was hoping that we wouldn't see them and then we'd get our money back. But the bugger popped up twice which meant all bets where off. Oscar slept through it and Seba's eagle eyes are not yet that developed. Not that I was expecting a "Free Willie" free dive over the boat (well, I was) but nature does have a habit of not performing when you want it to. Or, the whales recognised the boat and stayed under for fear of hearing a raucaus cry of "Crickey" or "Whales Rule"
There was another highlight on the way back where some dolphins swam under the bow of the boat which was an amazing thing for us to see. Thankfully, the are natural show-off's so the video won't look that bad!
Have been guests of family in Brisbane and hospitality in the first 48hrs ran to cases of wine and beer and great food. Marry that with the warm weather (its the middle of winter here) and the place is paradise.
Australia seems the most obvious choice for relocation. Weather, self-sufficient in most foods, outdoor culture...but the one problem for Marie is the proximity of snakes...or the realisation that they are within 500miles of her. Still, can but dream.
We've been staying in Maroochydore on the Sunshine Coast in a wonderful apartment on the tributary into the sea. Due to the illness, we've been cabin bound but managed two small trips out - Australia Zoo and some whale/dolphin watching.
Firstly, Australia Zoo or otherwise known as the Steve Irwin Tribute Park - crickey! The zoo was home to the self-titled Crocodile Hunter (he's the crazy Aussie guy who used to be on ITV Sat afternoon chasing crocodiles and snakes around the world. Now its' a shrine to his life, work, etc,etc. Due to it being middle of winter the animals were, umm, sleeping. We're pretty much experts in animal nocturnal habits. Crocs (asleep in water), koala's (asleep in trees), pythons (curled up and asleep), kangaroos (lying down). Quick mention in dispatches to the elephants who at least stood up, had a drink, and then lay down again. When walking / pushing / carrying a 4yr and 2yr old around a zoo you pretty much need to see some animal activity (preferably killing / chasing / roaring) for them to be interested. In our postmodern world, once you've seen one animal asleep you've pretty much seen them all.
Still, Marie and the boys' had their photo taken with a syphilis carrying koala!
Next up, and very much high on the "world tour tick list" was whale watching. What should have been an obvious omen to the day ahead, we booked with "Australian Zoo Whale One" or more widely known amongst his employees, "Steve Irwin Whale Boat". Off we set, 10am in the morning, camera's all charged up, plenty of spare discs (for we are a modern gadget holidaying family) into the great blue yonder to watch the majestic whales sing and swim for our delight. As we hit mid-day, and the Steve Irwin tribute DVD played for the 2nd time I started to wonder whether the cure of Australia Zoo had followed us onto the boat. We were informed that whales only spend 10% of their time on the surface but the area we were in was a "popular spot" for them - they swim over for a beer, have a BBQ, take their kids to the park...
Several false spots later, and eagle-eye Hughes spots a jet of water some distance away and then a brown hump. The boat speeds in that direction. Then we're told they can stay under water for up to 15mins. What confused us was why we were all looking at the front of the boat - do whales just sink up and down in one spot? Answer, no. Round the back of the boat a cry went up...so the boat turned around and then we all looked in that direction. This is pretty much what whale watching is all about. It's like looking for fairies at the bottom of the garden. After an hour I was hoping that we wouldn't see them and then we'd get our money back. But the bugger popped up twice which meant all bets where off. Oscar slept through it and Seba's eagle eyes are not yet that developed. Not that I was expecting a "Free Willie" free dive over the boat (well, I was) but nature does have a habit of not performing when you want it to. Or, the whales recognised the boat and stayed under for fear of hearing a raucaus cry of "Crickey" or "Whales Rule"
There was another highlight on the way back where some dolphins swam under the bow of the boat which was an amazing thing for us to see. Thankfully, the are natural show-off's so the video won't look that bad!
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